You're so nebulous sometimes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
