Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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