You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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