i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Houston, we have a squirter
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Lo siento on account of my penis...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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