I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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