This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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