Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
