So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
