that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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