ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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