sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
