I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize