Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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