You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
