Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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