the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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