it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
