Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
