What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
