That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
worst night to have a conscience
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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