I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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