dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
