to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
