2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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