My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
