He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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