dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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