It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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