your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
