At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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