we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
