He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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