party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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