I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
