Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
