with your own penis?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
