I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
