oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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