His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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