Got a toothbrush?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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