If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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