3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
