you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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