If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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