oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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