I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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