his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
