Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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