i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
