just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
