yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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