We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
