Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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