Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
COCAINE IS GR8
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
