what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
bring money and cleavage
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
