I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
