she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
