Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
