I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
