she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
