No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
