the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
